All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
