I want to have your abortion
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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