it wasn't lemon gatorade
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
