dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
