I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
