Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
