i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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