Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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