I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
