sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
