I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize