the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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