Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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