and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
