So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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