i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize