Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
