Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
