I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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