Nicole vs. Life
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
