I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
