just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
