Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
