Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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