My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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