So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize