Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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