I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize