U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
