this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
