i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
