She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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