so explain again why im purple
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer