please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.