I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
