Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
