I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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