I just made out with a guy for $7.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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