i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
