I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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