Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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