This girl is more easily done than said...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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