Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
