didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think I am morally bankrupt
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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