i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
