Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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