Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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