Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
