dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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