Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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