Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Farmville is her only friend.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
