We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
