Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
