I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
