You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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