Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
