Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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