No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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