If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
