well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize