i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize