TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just had sex on a roof
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
